365 Days
by MusicSoul1987
Summary: Tommy tried to commit suicide. When Adam comes to the scene of the crime he finds letters from the 365 days they were together. He reads them, thinks about the day, compares his own, and prays for his one true love's life.
1. Chapter 1

**Days **

**Day 1**

Day 1

Tommy's Diary

Today is the beginning. I was diagnosed with with deppresion. All I really remember is the theripist tell me and how I felt. It was so much relief. To finally put a name to what had caused me all these problems and pain. All the crying and yelling. It finally made sense. All like a puzzle piece it fit together. Someone had finally put a name to what was going on with me. I wasn't crazy. I was just confused on how to deal with it. Sure, I had a long way to go before I was better and I'd probably never be totally cured but it'd be better than thinking soemthing was wrong with me. For the first time in a long time I felt something I had forgotten was even a feeling since I'd been made fun of for being gay: **Hope**

and I knew one thing for sure; I was never letting it go.

The Day

I walked back into the doctors office. I still didn't know exactly what was going on but I was sure I was about to find out ready or not.

"Tommy," Dr. Lutz said.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Your symotoms are those found in depressed teens," he said.

"So I'm depressed?" I asked.

"Yes, and I would like to not put you in conceiling," he said.

"So, what's going to happen?" my mom who was sitting next to me asked.

"Well for now I'm going to give him these meds," the doctor explained "and I'd like him to write down a jornual so we know what makes him angry and what makes him happy and things of that nature."

"So for now?" she asked.

"Pick up his prescripation and while you're there get him a jornual with a lot of pages to record his day in."

"Ok so he can go to school this week?" she asked.

"Yes, as long as he doesn't but any more pressure on himself than he already has," the doctor noted hesitentaly.

We got up and left after the doctor wrote out the prescription I needed and told me to take one in the morning and one at night.

"See honey?" my mom asked "that wasn't so bad."

"I guess not," I mumbled "do I really have to go to school tommorow?"

"Yes Tommy," she said "it's October and you have to start school again."

"Fine," I said looking at my feet.

Adam's Diary

I can't believe I moved from San Diego to L.A.. Does my mom think I have no friends or something. Well at least the girls decided they liked me whether I was gay or not. I don't know what I would have done if they didn't like me. I probably would have hid and refused to go to school. I heard some news though. A new kids coming. I'm gratful I won't be new anymore but still worried for the new kid and how he'd fit in with everyone here. He was from Burbank. That was pretty far away. It was just as bad as moving from somewhere like Florida because even though there's a lot less miles. You still do a 180 degree turn. I just hope this town didn't change him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 2**

Tommy's Diary

I met someone today. He didn't really see me but I saw him. I really liked his look. He had tight black skinny jeans, a David Bowie t-shirt and cheetah print boots. He had black, worn, fingerless gloves. His ice blue eyes had a tint of steel in them and were outlined in jet black eyehe liner. His black hair had streaks of blue and green in it and in his ears were black studs. When he looked over at me I felt my heart in my throat and the only thing I could think about was kissing those freckled lips. I really wanted to get to know the kid but as soon as I went up I heard I group of kids say something about having no chance and that I was a fag so I decided not to go up. Oh well I'll keep dreaming.

Tommy's Day

I was sitting in class when a kid came in. I was guessing it was Adam because he's the only one who didn't say "here" during attendence.

"Good morning," Adam said.

"Good morning," the teacher said.

He went to sit down next to me. He looked down at his stuff getting ready do I could look at him. He had black skiny jeans and a queen shirt. His cheetah print boots were sticking out from under his pants. All the sudden blue eyes with a tint of steel were staring back at me with a hint of curoiusity.

"Adam!" a girl called. Danielle I think her name was.

"Yes?" he asked her turning away.

"Can you help me with this track?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied grabbing his books and following her. Damn, he was hot.

Adam's Day

*Beeo, Beep, Beep*

I hit my alarm clock again. Just a few more minutes then I'll get up.

"Adam?" my mom called "are you ready?"

Ready for what? I looked up to see big red letters staring 7:03 AM at me. Oh shit. How many times had I hit that snooze button. I sat up straight in my bed and starting grabbing my stuff of the floor. I fixed my eyeliner as quick as I could and ran to grab my ipod and phone. After that I rushed down to my mom who had her car keys in her hand. She must have known I was going to be late.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yes," I said texting Danielle to tell her I'd be late.

We headed out to the car as soon as I'd pressed send and Neil, my brother, was already in the back seat.

"We're going to be late," he complained.

"You could have caught the bus," she said glideing out of the driveway.

"Adam could have driven himself," he stated "besides how are you going to get home?"

"I'm going to have your dad pick me up," she said "my office is close enough I can walk."

"Whatever," he mumbled.

The rest of the drive was silent and I took the time to think about the new boy who'd been sitting next to me. As I watched the senery pass by and thought about the new kid. I couldn't wait to meet someone who wasn't concided or a jerk.

"Adam," I heard my mom say "We're here."

"Love you ," I said.

"Have a great day," she said.

I got up and walked toward the school. Stopping at my locker before heading for class as I walked in I saw the new kid sitting in the seat that had been empty since Brandon left 2 months ago to go to Florida because his mom thought he was focusing more on the girls here than homework. I didn't really think Florida would help though.

"Good morning," I said to the teacher as I walked in.

"Good morning," he said back to me.

Mr. Carter was also a Social Studies teacher and since I liked her class and behaved in it she didn't care if I was late a couple of times to her hoomroom as long as I showed up before 1st period. Thank god or I'd probably be screwed for all the days I'd been late. I sat in my regular seat and started to get ready for class. After being felt like I was being watched I looked up to see big brown eyes staring into mine. He looked like he wanted me. I wanted to grab him and pull him into my arms. It was a weird feeling. I wanted to protect the small little boy. He seemed so fragile. Like if you held him to tight he would break under the pressure. I felt myself edging towards him.

"Adam!" Danielle called to me.

I turned around to see her getting closer to me and waving a disk in her hand around like a mad women.

"Yes?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Can you help me with this track?" she asked.

"Of course," I said grabbing my books and looking over at the boy who's head was now down, face red.

"Danielle, we both know thoses tracks are fine," I said "what do you need?"

"I was saving you," she stated simply.

"From what?" I asked.

"From taking that boy into your arms just to find out he's straight," she said.

"Was it really that obvious?" I asked.

"Honey you could have been blind and saw it," she said.

I felt my cheeks turn red. She gave me a look of pity and shook her head looking down at the ground with a grim look on her face.

"You don't want to dig yourself a hole you can't get out of," she said.

"I won't," I said "but he was really-"

"Adam!" she snapped "focus!"

"But-" I whined.

"Do you want your heart broken?" she asked impatient.

"No," I said.

"Just be careful," she said with a solem expression.

Adam's Diary

I met this really cute guy. Danielle says that he will break my heart but will I ever know if I don't try? What if it could work? Then what? I want him to be mine. So bad it hurts. His big, milk chocolate eyes and fraglie frame. It makes me want to grab him and hide him from the world so that he never gets hurt. So he never feels pain. I want him so bad. What am I going to do? One look and he already has me hypnotized. I want to be friends at least. But what happens when he finds out I'm gay? What if he thinks I'm a fag or something. What then? God, please help me. I want him so bad but he'll never want me from whatever's happening. Please someone guide me. I don't know where to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 3**

Tommy's Diary

Oh my god! Worst day ever! I actually spilled all my food over Adam! God dammit and to boot I fell on top of him. It was a salad and dressing so now he probably hates me and smells like italian dressing. Someone kill me now. Why'd this happen? It was such a good day. Some guys called me a queer! Nobody knows I'm gay but my parents and me. So how'd they figure out? God dammit.

**The Day**

Tommy POV

"Tommy!" someone yelled.

I looked over to see Tommy Jasons running over to Janie. Everone knew, including me now, that they were an item. She was really nice to be honest. Most of the kids here had are bitches me but she told me that was just the way they are and that if I ignored it they'd be nicer. WHAM! I tripped and I felt myself fall on top of a very warm body. I looked up to see a very red face. He was mad. Shit! I got up and bolted from the cafeiteria totally embrassed.

"Tommy!" I heard a voice call. Adam! Shit!

Adam POV

"Hey Adam," Allison called. I laughed at her brand new purple highlights in her red hair. I thought it was funny how she pouted as she heard me laughing and I wanted to laugh harder. BAM! I fell to the ground with a very fragile, small body. I looked up to see Tommy looking at me. I turned red. I just looked like a total idiot infront of him. I saw him look with surprise and then bolt for the door.

"Tommy!" I yelled hoping he wasn't mad at me. God Dammit!

Adam Diary

I just ran into the hottest guy in the school and made him spill his lunch. God he probably hates me. What the fuck do I do? It was an iccident. God I have to be more careful. I must have pist him off pretty bad with the shade of red he turned. Oh god, he definetly hates me. Dammit! Why can't anything go right for me? I wish I'd been paying attention.


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 4**

Tommy's Diary

Today might have gone better than yesterday. Wait scratch that. This day definitely went better. He actually talked to me! Yes! I probably sound like a little 13 year old girl but I don't care. He apoligized for running into ME! I was like wait. I ran into you didn't I? We laughed it off and he invited me to his house on Friday. I can't wait! Oh my god. What am I going to wear? Shit I need to stop acting like a 13 year old girl. Friday is a long way off. I wonder if I can invite him over tommorow…?

Tommy POV

"Tommy!" I heard Adam yell. Shit now I was going to get it. Espeacially after running out on him. Dammit.

"Yea?" I asked quietly.

"I just wanted to apoligize for running into you," he said looking at his feet.

"Running into me?" I aksed shocked.

"Yea," he said.

"But I ran into you!" I blurted out. I was the one who wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Why was he apoligizing? That didn't seem right.

"No, I wasn't paying attention," he said bewilttered.

"Nether was I!" I yelled and looked at the look on his face and we both burst into laughter.

"I guess we're both at fault," he said.

"You're telling me," I laughed.

"So can you come to my house today?" I asked after the laughter had died down.

"Sorry," he apoligized "I have play but how about tommorow?"

"Sure," I said happily agreeing if it meant I got to hang out eairler than Friday.

"Cool," he said "see you in class?"

"Yup," I said.

Adam POV

"Tommy!" I yelled asd soon as Tommy came into view.

"Yea?" I he asked shyly.

"I just wanted to apoligize for running into you," I said looking down trying to hide my blush.

"Running into me?" he asked.

"Yea," I said quietly.

"But I ran into you!" he blurted out. Wait but I was the one who wasn't paying attention not him. Right? I ran into him while laughing at Allison.

"No, I wasn't paying attention," I said bewilttered.

"Nether was I!" he shouted in a tone that was histerical and I looked at the look on his face and we both burst into laughter.

"I guess we're both at fault," I said.

"You're telling me," he laughed.

"So can you come to my house today?" he asked after the laughter had died down.

"Sorry," I apoligized "I have play but how about tommorow?" Damn why did I have to have play practice today. I wanted to go home with him!

"Sure," he said looking very happy.

Cool," I said "see you in class?"

"Yup," he said and headed for the door. I took a couple seconds to glance at his cute ass and was on my way.

Adam's Diary

Oh My God! Yes! Tommy invited me over to his house. I wonder what it looks like. I'm so happy we made up and there were no hard feelings. I don't know what I'd do if he were mad and to think it was his fault too! That's just hilarous. God I wish I could see his face right now. Mmmm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 5**

**Tommy's Diary**

_Oh my god! Adam came over today. I had to hide my journal so I wasn't embaressed. He was so cute. He had on black skinny jeans, and a queen t-shirt on. Mmmm and those ice blue eyes were outlined in jet black eyeliner. It was denfintley mac. I use the same kind. God, he was so pretty and I wanted to just hold him down an- er maybe I shouldn't write that down incase my parents read this. Oh, well you get the point and IF this is my parents you have no proof and I'm innocent intill proven guilty._

_**The Day**_

Tommy's POV

"Hey Tommy!" I heard Adam yell.

"Hey Adam," I said "you still coming over?"

"Lead the way," he said guestering to the road. I lead him to my house which was only about 20 feet from the school so we could just walk. I walked through the door, and he followed close behind as my mother came into sight.

"Hey mom," I said "This is Adam."

"Oh hey Adam!" she said excidently. She was happy to finally see the boy I'd been talking non-stop since I'd seen him.

"Hi Mrs. Ratliff," he said confidently.

"We're going to go study upstairs," I said.

"Okay, be careful," she said giving me a look which meant "I'm right down stairs don't do anything stupid like have sex".

"Ok," I said and started up the stairs. We got out are homework turned on some music and started on it. First we were going to do homework from classes we didn't already have.

"Uhg," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"This math!" I pouted.

He laughed and leaned in closer to me looking over my shoulder.

"What do you need help with?" he asked.

I could feel his warm cinnomin smelling breathe on my shoulder and I wanted nothing more than to snuggle into him.

"I need help with number 7," I said.

I felt him get closer to me and wrap his arms around me taking his pencial and helping me work out the problem. When my mom walked in I was cuddled inbetween Adam's legs with his arm brushing my shoulder a lot while writing down equations that I tried to concintrate on. Then everything went black as I curled up by his side.

Adam's POV

"Hey Tommy!" I yelled.

"Hey Adam," he said "you still coming over?"

"Lead the way," I said guestering to the road. He lead me to a house that was maybe 20 feet away from the edge of school property.

"Hey mom," he said "This is Adam."

"Oh hey Adam!" she said loudly. I think Tommy had told her about me.

"Hi Mrs. Ratliff," I said confidently than I felt I'd hoped.

"We're going to go study upstairs," he said.

"Okay, be careful," she said giving him a knowing look that probably meant "be careful".

"Ok," he said and started up the stairs. We got out are homework turned on some music and started on it. First we were going to do homework from classes we didn't have together

"Uhg," he said.

"What?"I asked.

"This math!" he pouted.

I laughed and leaned in closer to him looking over hid shoulder. I'd hoped he was comfortable. He smelled like cherry.

"What do you need help with?" I asked.

I could hearing his breathing hitch slightly and wondered if he was okay?

"I need help with number 7," he said. I help him with that problem and a couple more till he got bored and cuddled up against me falling asleep. I smiled and cuddled into him sleep overtaking me fast.

**Adam's Diary**

I fell asleep on Tommy! I can't believe he didn't mind when he woke up. God he was so peacful and cute today. It makes me wanna hold him down and make love to him. God I wish he'd be mine. I want him so bad. To lick those lips- oh shit lets not give a an erection before bed. Bad idea. Now I can't wait to see him tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Day 6**

Tommy's Diary

I can't wait for Friday. Mm. It felt so good between his legs. I could have sworn that he was sporting an erection. I felt like laughing at him and at the same time letting him hold me down an- wait again with if my parents read this. Dammit. Mmm but a man can still dream right? I mean it can't hurt to think about him between my legs and..oh shit now I'm sporting an erection. Well that blows. No pun intended. Well, I guess I lied. Thinking about it can hurt and with my problem right now it does. Shit

**The Day**

Tommy's Day

Walking to school today with an erection was the last thing I wanted to do but with school starting in 5 minutes and a 7 minute walk ahead of me I figured it'd have to wait.

"Hey Tommy!" someone called loudly.

I turned around to see Adam walking with 2 girls flanking his side. Danielle and Allison. I'd seen them with him a lot and they'd both threatened to hurt me if I hurt him.

"Hey Adam," I said as he walked up.

"What's up," he said giving me a hug.

One thing I'd learned about him; he's a touchy, close kind of guy. It was nice but as his leg accidently pushed into my morning "problem" his eyes went wide and he cracked up.

"See a cute girl on the way?" he whispered in my ear.

"Sort of," I explained.

"What does sort of mean?" he asked as he shoed away Danielle and Allison who'd been staring at me wide eyed.

"Adam," I said "there's something you should know about me."

"and what's that?" he asked.

"I'm gay," I said "and you're kind of a turn on."

He started laughing hysterically. I felt my face turning red and I felt tears rolling down my eyes. He looked up and saw my face and he went serious right away. He grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.

"Shh," he said.

I tried to pull away. I was so embarresed. I knew he'd react like that. He just grabbed my tighter and contiuned to try to calm me down.

"Shh, baby it's okay," he said.

"B..but you're.. a..t m..me," I sobbed.

"Not at you honey," he said and tilted my face so I was looking at him. He gently pressed his lips to mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. It felt so good and I heard a slight whimper escape my mouth when he pulled away.

"Shh," he whispered "we'll finish this tonight."

"Mmm," I moaned as he walked away from me winking.

**Adam's Day**

The only thing that got me up today was seeing Tommy. I'd been waiting to talk to him since yesterday which for some wouldn't be long but for me it felt like an etnerinty. I couldn't wait to see him.

"Hey Tommy!" I called loudly.

He turned around and flinched. He always did that when my "girls" were with me. They threatened him once and although I apologized he still wasn't fond of them

"Hey Adam," he said as I walked up.

"What's up," I said giving him a hug.

I was a touchy kind of guy but that didn't bother him. My eyes flew wind open when I felt my knee hit his morning "problem".

"See a cute girl on the way?" I whispered in my ear. I'd hoped he didn't and it was me.

"Sort of," he explained.

"What does sort of mean?" I asked and shooed away Danielle and Allison who'd been staring at him with wide eyes making him nervous.

"Adam," he said "there's something you should know about me."

"and what's that?" I asked anxious for the impossible.

"I'm gay," he said "and you're kind of a turn on."

I started laughing hysterically. I couldn't help it. All this time I'd thought I'd been the only one to have a crush on him and then this. I went serious as soon as I saw his tears though. I didn't think someone as beautiful as that should be crying. He was so cute. I felt bad and pulled him toward me.

"Shh," I said.

He tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him. I knew he was embarresed but that didn't mean he had to run away.

"Shh, baby it's okay," I said.

"B..but you're.. a..t m..me," he sobbed.

"Not at you honey," I said and tilted his face so he was looking directly into my eyes. I gently pressed my lips to his and he wrapped my arms around my neck pulling my closer to me. It felt so good and I heard a slight whimper escape his mouth when I pulled away.

"Shh," I whispered "we'll finish this tonight."

"Mmm," he moaned turned on judging by the tent in his pants and I winked a him giggling as he blushed**. **He was so cute.

**Adam's Diary**

Oh My God! He said it. The one thing I never thought I'd hear him say! He's gay! I can't wait for tonight now! Oh god only 2 hours. What should I wear? Well, I guess it doesn't matter. I won't be wearing it long anyway. Oh god he'd better get here and fast before I drag him!


	7. Chapter 7

**Day 7**

Tommy's Diary

Ok mom, you win. I have to talk about this because not exactly being a virgin anymore might not be the best thing. Shit but it felt so right. I can't believe it actually happened. This is something I never want to forget. While we were a bit busy I found a journal on his desk. I thought it was cool I'm not the only one who keeps a journal.

Tommy's Day

"Hey Adam," I said as I stepped through the door of his house.

"Hey Tommy," he said with a huge grin on his face.

I was hoping it was the same reason I had a smile on mine because if we were on the same page maybe something might happen tonight. First things first though.

"Are your parents home?" I asked.

"Nope," he said winking "there out of town for a few days for my brothers writing competition."

"Um," I said nervousness setting in for the first time.

His face got serious and I knew he had something important say.

"We don't have to DO anything," he said emphisisying the do.

"..I want to," I said after a few minutes feeling my face get hotter.

"Mmm," he said leaning in nuzzling my jaw "you're so cute when you blush."

"Follow me," he said pulling me towards a room on the second floor of the house. In the room, which I imidently figured out was Adam's, the was a a lot of music stuff and I felt at ease with the familier surrondings.

He pulled me down to the bed till I was strandling him. This way we were both the same height. He started attacking my mouth feverishly and I opened it slighty moaning when I felt his tounge slide in. He pulled me closer and explored my mouth. I had to pull away from lack of oxygen. Why'd we even need it? Not that he seemed to care. He went for my neck licking and niping his way down to my collarbone. He started unbuttoning my shirt and I moaned when he licked down my chest. He threw the shirt off and led my hands to his. I slowly unbuttoned it looking for any sign that he wouldn't want to do this but he just kept attacking me with slow kisses and nips that were turning into bites. I sucked in breath when he bit right where my neck and shoulder meet hard and started to moan struggling to try and get my pants off. He finally came to my rescue and helped my unbutton them pulling them off my legs and laying me down on the bed. He got on top of me and slowly pulled down my boxers. I started going for his pants but again wasn't sucessful and he help me take off his. Under his pants I soon found he had nothing on. I also found out he was huge! Jeez.

"You can back out you know," he said sucking on my neck.

"No," I said.

"Mmm good," he said and started rumaging through his draws till he produced a condom and lube.

"I was hoping that'd you say that," he whispered giving me chills.

I felt him take my cock into his hand and pump it a few times and heard a few whimpers escape my mouth. I couldn't say anymore than that. My though process was incoherant. So when I felt his hot, wet mouth slide over me I couldn't take it.

"F..fu..fuck!" I yelled.

"Were getting there," he teased.

"N..n..not funny," I said,

I felt a couple of his fingers tease my hole and I tensed up.

"Relax baby," he said continually rubbing his fingers around.

I waited till I relaxed from his touch and that's all he needed. He rumaged for the bottle of poured some on his fingers rubbing them together to warm it up. Again I felt his fingers tease my hole and I relaxed my body. I was already panting but when his fingers penetrate me my breathe hitched.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. He started to strech me and I understood while girls held on to their virginaty. It fucking hurt! But the pleasure felt so worth it. I felt another finger start circling around. When that one went through I cried out in pain.

"Tommy?" he said worridley.

"I…I'm..," I said panting.

He started sissoring me, trying to loosen me up. I panted feeling excited when the third and last finger penetrated me.

"Just.. me," I whined.

"As you widh," he said and took his fingers out. I whimpered from the lose intill I heard the condom packet being ripped. I couldn't look away as he rolled in on his dripping cock. When he lifted my legs over his shoulder I became nervous again. He must have sensed it because he started calming me down.

"Baby it's okay," he whispered "it won't hurt long. I promise."

I relaxed and he lined up his cock with my hole.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Mhm," I said unable to put toether any words.

He pushed in slowly in and it burned. I whimpered.

"Shh," he said "it's okay."

Once he was all the way in he waited for me to get used to it and kissed my gently.

"I think I'm already in love with you," he said.

"I was in love with you when I first met you," I said.

He leaned into me and whispered "I love you" in my ear.

"You can start moving," I said with my new found confidence.

I felt as he started to thrust in and out of me. I started to push against him and the only sounds were of skin hitting skin and heavy breathing. When he hit my prostate I started to scream.

"Adam!" I yelled coming all over both are stomachs while he was doing the same thing.

I felt so tired as he pulled out tieing the condom and throwing it in the trash. He reached over and pulled out a wash cloth cleaning us both as well as he could.

"I love you," he whispered pulling me towards him.

"I love you too," I said snuggling up against him and falling asleep.

**Adam's Day**

"Hey Adam," he said stepping through the door.

"Hey Tommy," I said with a huge smile on my face.

"Are your parents home?" he asked.

Oh what a bad kitty.

"Nope," I said winking "there out of town for a few days for my brothers writing competition."

"Um," he said looking nervous.

I changed imedatlly to a serious face.

"We don't have to DO anything," I said trying to over exagertate the DO part.

"..I want to," he said blushing.

"Mmm," I said leaning in nuzzling his jaw "you're so cute when you blush."

"Follow me," I said pulling me towards my room.

I pulled me down to the bed till I was strandling me. This way I wasn't as much taller than him as normal. started attacking his mouth unable to help it and he opened it slighty moaning when when I put my tounge in. I pulled him closer and explored his mouth. He pulled away panting. I forgot that I could hold my breath longer than the average person. Why'd we even need oxygen? Not that it bothered me but still I wanted him. I went for his neck licking and niping slightly my way down to his collarbone. I started unbuttoning his shirt and he moaned when I licked down his chest. I threw the shirt off him and led his hands to mine. He slowly unbuttoned it looking for any sign that I wouldn't want to do this but I just kept attacking him with sweet kisses and nips that were turning into more of bites than nips. He sucked in breath when I bit right where his neck and shoulder meet hard and he started to moan struggling to try and get his pants off. I finally came to my rescue after a few minutes of struggling and helped him unbutton them pulling them off his legs and laying him down on the bed. I got on top of him and slowly pulled down his boxers. HeI started going for my pants but again wasn't sucessful and I had to help him take them off. Under my pants he figured out I had on no boxers. He looked nervous again.

"You can back out you know," I said sucking on his neck.

"No," he said.

"Mmm good," I said and started pawning through my draws till I found a condom and lube.

"I was hoping that'd you say that," I whispered feeling him shiver.

I took his cock into my hand and pump it a few times and heard whimpers escape his mouth. I felt go as I pumped it for the last time.

"F..fu..fuck!" he yelled.

"Were getting there," I teased.

"N..n..not funny," he whined.

He tensed when he felt my fingers circling his hole.

"Relax baby," I said continually rubbing my fingers around.

I waited till he relaxed from my touch and that's all I needed. Irumaged for the bottle of lube and poured some on my fingers rubbing them together to warm it up. Again I circled around his hole. He relaxed his body. When I put the first digit in his breathing hitched.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yes," he said and I started to strech him slowly. He cried out in pain and I stopped at once.

"Tommy?" I said worridley.

"I…I'm..," he said panting.

I started sissoring him, trying to loosen him up. He was panting when my third and last digit went inside.

"Just.. me," he whined.

"As you wish," I said and took my is fingers out. He whimpered from the lose intill he heard the condom packet being ripped. He didn't look away as I rolled it on and I began panting heavier. When I lifted his legs he started to get that "oh shit" look on his face and I knew I had to calm him down.

"Baby it's okay," I whispered "it won't hurt long. I promise."

I wish it wouldn't hurt him at all.

Once he relaxed I lined my cock with his hole.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Mhm," I said.

I slowly pushed in and heard him whimper. I hated to see him in pain.

"Shh," I said "it's okay."

Once I was in all the way I gently kissed him waiting for him to get used to me. I knew I was pretty big.

"I think I'm already in love with you," I said.

"I was in love with you when I first met you," he said.

That was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard and I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let him go.

I leaned into me and whispered "I love you" in his ear.

"You can start moving," he said with confidence.

I started to thrust and he pushed too meeting them.

"Adam!" he yelled coming all over both are stomachs while I was doing the same thing.

I pulled out of him and tied the condom. I got a cloth and wiped us both clean grabbing a blanket and pulling it over us.

"I love you," I whispered pulling him towards me.

"I love you too," he said getting closer to me and that was all I needed to hear.

**Adam's Diary**

Me and Tommy had sex today. I thought he hate me not want to have sex but I'm not complaining. It felt so good inside his tight ass. I wanted to hold him forever and never let go. If his mom hadn't called him to come home for dinner he probably would have too. God, I love him already.


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 8**

Tommy's Diary

God, I can't believe today was so normal. Well besides the fact that Adam was glued to my side, I'm just glad he didn't fuck me and move on. Danielle and Allison were glaring daggers at me though. It scared me. But I'm not letting them ruin my day.

Tommy's Day

"Hey Tommy," Adam yelled.

"Hey," I said blushing as he kissed my check while pulling me in for a hug. Behind him Allison and Danielle were glaring dagers at me.

"You're so cute when you blush," he said.

I turned redder, if that was even possible and looks down at our interwinted hands. He gently pulled the back of head till I felt his breath on my ear.

"I love you," he said.

I nudged my head into his chest.

"Love you too," I mumbled.

I took in his smell. He smelled like cinnomin. I don't why but his kiss did too. Maybe his toothpaste.

"I'll see you tonight right?" he said looking at me with begging eyes.

"Of course," I said.

His eyes got some hope in them.

**Adam's Day**

"You what?" Danielle yelled into the reciever.

"We had sex," I said.

"Why the hell would you do that?" she screeched.

"We wanted to," I said.

"Adam!" she yelled "He played you. He's going to tell the whole school!"

"No he's not," I said.

He wouldn't. He wouldn't be meeting me today if that were the case. Right? He hasn't cancelled.


	9. Chapter 9

**Day 9**

Tommy's Diary

_I found out what happen today. Why Danielle and Allison are so protective. If someone did what Adam's ex did to my friend, I'd be protective too. I just can't believe he looks so happy. It's hard to think that someone so small (no pun intended) in his life could bother him so much. I wish I could make it better. I'll just keep trying because when I'm done, he won't even remember the name Brad._

Tommy's Day

We were sitting on the bed. Just an ordinary day, so I never expected what would happen when I asked about old boyfriends.

"N-nothing," Adam stuttered.

"Who was he?" I asked lightly.

"B-B-Brad," he stuttered.

"What happen?" I asked, pushing the subject.

Tears started streaming down his face.

"H-he cheated o-on m-m-me," Adam cried, grabbing my shirt and tugging at it.

I pulled him into his arms and whispered, "I'm sorry" to him.

"It's not your fault," Adam said.

"I know but you're so beautiful," I said, "You didn't deserve it."

"Maybe I did," he sobbed.

"Adam," I said sternly and pulled his chin up so he was looking at me, "Nobody deserves that."

"Ever," I finished, releasing his chin, "especially you."

"Thank you," he said, pulling closer to me and drifted to sleep.

"I love you," I whispered before falling into a deep sleep of my own.

**Adam's Day**

When we were talking about our lives, it didn't occur to me that Tommy would ask about past lovers, so when he did he caught me by surprise.

"What about boyfriends?" he asked.

"Boyfriends?" I squeaked.

"What is it?" he asked.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, feeling tears threaten.

"Who was he?" he asked quietly.

"B-B-Brad," I stuttered.

"What happen?" he asked, pushing the subject too far.

Tears started streaming down my face. I was so weak.

"H-he cheated o-on m-m-me," I cried, grabbing my shirt and tugging at it.

He pulled me into his arms and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said, trying to control my sobs.

"I know but you're so beautiful," he said, "You didn't deserve it."

"Maybe I did," I sobbed harder, unable to hold back.

"Adam," he said sternly and pulled my chin up so I was looking at him, "Nobody deserves that."

I believed him. For the first time, I believed a person who said that.

"Ever," he finished, releasing my chin, "especially you."

"Thank you," I said, pulling closer to him and started to drift to sleep.

"I love you," I thought I heard him whisper and that was all I heard before a peaceful sleep overwhelmed me.

**Adam's Diary**

_I love him. I don't know if he really loves me, but I know that I love him. He made me feel secure in a way that nobody ever has before. I don't know why or how, but right now I don't care. I just know that he means so much to me and I never want to let him go for as long as I live._

*Adam shifted in his chair. He looked up at the clock that said 1:23 AM and realized just how long it had been. Shouldn't he have gotten news about Tommy? He went to go read and discovered something. Days 9-137 were missing, all except for a paper that had Tommy's writing written across it:

_Adam,_

_You might be wondering why all those days are missing._

_I just found that the stuff in there was too dark for you to _

_read, so you can start again at 138 which is a little more_

_happy. I'm sorry that you will never get to read those._

_Love,_

_Tommy_


	10. Chapter 10

**Day 10**

_*Adam thinks, days 9-137? What happened there?_ He continues to read, hoping to find out.*

**Day 138**

Tommy's Diary

_He's coming back! Finally, life's been hell while he was gone. I couldn't stand another day without seeing him. Too bad he's only here for a week or two. God my life sucks. Maybe I should just die after he leaves. I don't think I could handle the pain any more. Where did I go wrong and fall in love? It seems like such a stupid thing to do now._

*_Adam remembers what those days were. It was for the rest of the school year and some of June where he left for that music school he'd been accepted to._

_"Tommy said he'd be fine dammit," Adam yelled at no one and then continued reading._*

Tommy's Day

"Tommy!" he heard his mother yell.

He looked in the mirror one last time and sped down the stairs. Standing there was the angel he'd called his boyfriend for the first time in months. Tommy was thrilled that Adam was there but was unsure if he'd felt the same way, so he stood a couple of feet away looking down at this shoes.

"Tommy?" Adam asked like he was unsure.

Tommy looked up to see Adam staring intently at him. He closed the few feet between them and was engulfed in a hug.

"Adam," I sighed.

Finally my Adam was home.

"I missed you," he said.

"I missed you too," I said and looked up at his clear blue eyes.

"I love you," he said, wiping my bangs out of my eyes and tucking them behind my ear.

"I love you too," I said, "so much."

"Boys, I hate to get in the way, but shouldn't you get going?" my mom asked gently.

"Go where?" I asked.

"Somewhere special," he said and took my hand.

"Bye mom!" I yelled out the door as Adam dragged me to his car.

"Get in," he said, stepping in to the driver's seat.

I got in and was embraced with a smell I had missed. Adam's scent devoured my senses.

"Where are we going?" I asked again.

"You'll see," he promised and we drove off.

**Adam's Day**

"Tommy!" she yelled.

He ran down the stairs in record speed but when he saw me, he came to a halt and looked down at his shoes.

"Tommy?" I asked, unsure of why he'd stopped. Was I not the person he'd expected?

He looked up and stared at me and the closed the gap between us.

"Adam," he sighed.

I was finally home with my baby.

"I missed you," I said.

"I missed you too," he said, looking up at me.

"I love you," I said, wiping his bangs out of his eyes and tucking them behind his ear.

"I love you too," he said, "so much."

"Boys, I hate to get in the way, but shouldn't you get going?" his mom asked gently.

Oh that's right, we had somewhere to go.

"Go where?" he asked.

"Somewhere special," I said and took his hand.

"Bye mom!" he yelled out the door as I dragged him to my car.

"Get in," I said, stepping in to the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" he asked again.

"You'll see," I promised and we drove off.

**Adam's Diary**

_God I love him. I am so glad we are going to see each other again today. I couldn't ask for anything more. I love you Tommy and I'm coming._

_*Adam froze. The day had been almost perfect. But something bad was going to happen and he didn't need to read any further to know that. This wasn't going to be an easy one to read, he thought as he turned to the next page that was stained with tears.*_


	11. Chapter 11

**Day 11**

*_God dammit Tommy,_ Adam thinks as he looks at the page closer, reddish-brown splattered across it with a plain white note there.*

_Adam,_

I was thinking about not showing you this last page but I know a lot are missing and you need to know that I love you and I'm sorry it ended this way because you meant more to me than myself and that's why when you find days 140-364 missing I hope you know, I wish I could include them so much but those were the semesters I only saw you when I could and so you would never find those days of pain and misery when you were gone, I burned them and I'm sorry you missed so much of what I felt but it's too hard to think that I would leave you feeling how I had to feel all those days. So here is the last day we spent together. Day 365. Forgive me and I love you.

Love,

Tommy

*_How'd I know?_ Adam thought as tears rolled down his face, now looking at the blood stained paper. This was a copy of the page the cops had found in Tommy's hand when they found the blood all over. This was the first copy he'd written to Adam when he was dying. This was the last letter Adam might ever get from him.*

**Day 365**

Tommy's Diary

_This is it. The last day for anything. I should have known better. I saw him today. Adam, and I wish it could be enough to save me but it's not. I love him but he shouldn't love me. Just like everybody back in Burbank thought. I'm useless. Adam I know you're reading this. Look on the back of that paper._

Tommy's Day

I sat there staring it down. A razor that could so easily end my suffering.

_Even with Adam, things would never get better and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm stuck here and I want out. I never want to be here again._

I felt the tears running down my cheeks.

_I love you, Adam, _I thought.

I lifted the razor, found the vain and as the knife cut across my skin, for the last time, I felt a sudden guilt. For Adam, my mom, and anybody who cared about me, no matter how small it might be. The blood started rushing and I struggled to write down the note on a single piece of paper, praying Adam would look on the back.

_Adam,  
><em>_**I'm sorry I'm too screwed up to be with you and I ruined everything, but here are the 365 Days when I knew you. I hope you're reading them and thinking about how much I loved you and how sorry I am.**_

_**Last of my love,**_

_**Tommy**_

**I knew I should write one for my mom but as my strength drained, I only heard one thing.**

"**Tommy!" I heard someone yell but I was under water and I wasn't resurfacing.**

**Adam's Day**

"I miss him," I told Danielle.

"Go to him boy," she laughed.

"But what about you?" I asked.

I'd told her today I'd stay with her and Ali all day.

"Go, you love sick puppy," Ali chimed in.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes!" they both exclaimed.

"Okay, see you both tomorrow!" I said, running to my car.

They laughed behind me.

When I got to the house, I knew something was off. I looked around and saw a note on the table. When I'd saw the red water, that's all I remember, and then crying. When the cops showed up, everything was a blur and now I'm waiting here. On our 365th day together.

(Back in Right Now Time)

"Adam Lambert?" a voice said.

"Yes?" I said, jumping out of my seat.

He didn't look happy. No. He couldn't die. Not yet.

"You're here for Mr. Ratliff?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, tapping my foot.

"I think you should come with me," he said.

I felt like puking. Please tell me he's alive.

Door 366.

"Adam?" a weak voice said as I walked in.

Tears started streaming down my cheeks. I looked into a pair of brown troubled eyes and although I wasn't happy he was upset, he was alive.

"Tommy," I said through my tears.

I turned to the doctor.

"Did you see the number when we walked in?" he asked me.

"Door 366," I answered and as I understood, I started to cry harder.

"Which means you get more days," he answered softly, smiling and walking out.

"Tommy," I cried, pulling him into my arms.

"Adam," he said, "I'm sorry."

"Shut up," I said, "never do that to me again."

"I won't," he promised.

I pulled his chin up to look at me.

"Ever," I said firmly, "I love you too much to lose you."

"I promise," he said again.

"I love you dumbass," I sobbed.

"I love you too," he said, tears streaming down his face, "I don't want to leave you ever and I won't."

"What?" I asked.

"Marry me," he said.

"Y-y-yes," I said, more tears streaming down my face, "of course."

****The End****

(Maybe. I think. I have a sequel called Road To Recovery, but I don't know if I'm sharing, it's not that good.)


End file.
